Faith Bigger Than Fear
by Heather Green
This has been one of the more difficult articles to write. I kept thinking that I needed to share something profound or of deep significance to make it important. But then I realized sometimes simple is more.
As many of you know, I had a very difficult pregnancy. There was one day that was especially terrifying where I thought I had lost the baby. I was still in the first trimester and was having a complication. I was at work and had to get to my doctor. It was the equivalent of living in Orland and needing to get downtown in 45 minutes on a Friday afternoon. I didn’t expect to make it in time. I got in my car and started driving. While I was driving, I began talking to God. Not praying, but actually talking.
I asked God to be with me and help me get there safely because I was an emotional mess. I remember telling God that everything was in His hands, but to please give me peace and help me. And I listened. I really listened. I also realized that as I was driving, there was hardly any traffic. The drive that should have taken close to an hour because of traffic, was mercifully light and I got to the office with minutes to spare.
I also realized during the drive that I was not alone. I was emotional, I was scared, I was driving myself, but I wasn’t alone. At some time during the drive and conversation, I felt a peace, unlike anything I had ever felt come over me. It was an indescribable feeling. I finally felt like I could breathe again. I knew one way or another that everything would be all right. I know it probably sounds crazy, but I actually felt like someone was with me.
When I got to the doctor’s office and into the exam room for a scan, I felt like someone was there holding my hand, keeping me calm. I knew God was with me. When the doctor found the baby on the screen and told me everything was fine, in a way I wasn’t surprised. Somehow I knew it already was.
There is no explanation I have other than it was God. This experience has stayed with me – I can still remember the feelings as if they were yesterday. I can say I always believed in God, but this experience changed the way I experience God.
When we are at the scariest, loneliest, seemingly most hopeless times in our lives, I know God is there. He has not forsaken us – He is waiting for us to talk to Him and for us to listen.
(As an aside, my daughter who was born 10 weeks early, is now a happy, healthy, almost 7-year-old.)